Okay, so I'm getting nervous just writing this. I'm going to Africa in one week and I haven't been nervous until this week (forgive me if my writing seems random and unorganized, it's because that is how I think, therefore: write). The distraction of school is gone and now this is all I have to think about. Oh Michelle Bowie how I love thee.
Back in October I couldn't decide what I was going to do for the summer. I thought about Youth In Mission, but I was also thinking about working at a camp. I just needed a sign. They were both good options I just needed someone to help cure me of my indecisive nature and tell me what to do (this is the solution I turn to in the midst of a decision pickle, which I'm frequently in, ask my peers). Michelle Bowie (my former academic adviser and professor) asked me what I was doing for the summer and I explained my dilemma. She said "Oh of course you should do Youth In Mission, that's a great opportunity." So I said "alright, I'm signing up tomorrow." She was a little concerned that my mother might have a different opinion and that I hadn't thought about it very much, but I didn't need to. I felt the peace of God overflow my heart when I made the final decision. Thanks for my sign Michelle!
So here I am. It's a week away and the mixture of emotions I feel makes my soul seem as if it might burst. I have been completely calm about this mission trip for nearly five months, and now I decide to become a little apprehensive? Fear is my own. Anxiety is my own. I must see through them and look to God. Aren't these little emotions so silly? I know that God is going to take care of me in these next two months (and all of life). So why worry? In the book Crazy Love, Francis Chan says that worry "implies that we don't quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what's happening in our lives." Who am I to worry that the God of the universe is not in control? This has been my focus this semester. To remember that God not only cares about me, but will help me in any situation, worry is nothing. It makes my heart jump with excitement to talk about My Father this way. "Oh how he love us."
I have learned a lot this semester about stress and turning to God. He has given me many situations in which I have practiced turning to Him in all times: trouble and praise. I'm soooooo excited for this summer. Here goes. Packing and praying time.
i love this kay.. your my best friend, and i am so proud of you. I'm so excited we get to do this experience together but apart. i love you so much you are so amazing, inside and out.
ReplyDeleteyou always make me smile, sweet girl. i am SO excited for you, and cannot wait to see you grow through this experience.
ReplyDeleteas i read this, i know you are right where god wants you to be. and, i know you are incredible gift to the world.
good luck packing. post as often as possible. enjoy and live every second. know i love you, and i'm praying for you daily.
so glad you are going to keep us up to date with your blog. i LOVE that quote from the book "Crazy Love". What a timely reminder of God's ultimate provision in our lives. It's the one I've chosen to focus on recently too. Know that I am joining Michelle in praying for you daily this summer. I CANNOT wait to hear all about the incredible things God does in you and through you!
ReplyDeleteThank you for allowing us to take this journey with you Kayla! Joining in prayer with Misty, Michelle, Jenna, and many many more! I know God has such awesome things in store for you and I cannot wait to hear about them and watch your face as it lights up with stories and memories!!! So thankful to serve alongside you next year. Thank you for allowing God to guide your every step and for being sensitive to people like Michelle that God has placed in your life at a specific time with a specific message. He's good like that :) love you Kayla and lifting you up daily.
ReplyDeleteHey Kakers. I am so unbelievably proud of you. Going to China alone was the most challenging thing I've ever done. That being said, it was so amazing to experience such a huge aspect of what God is capable of - when we only experience such a small part on a daily basis. Every single day, I reap the rewards of overcoming the challenges I faced on that trip. I thought my eyes were open to other cultures before I went, but I had no idea. The culture shock in the first week made me think I was crazy for deciding to do something like that alone, but now I realize that is exaclty where God wanted me to be. I had to decide to just jump in with both feet and it paid off. Listen to Greg Laswell's 'Embrace Me.' That was my China theme song.
ReplyDeleteSo my advice to you: get involved with the people as much as you possibly can. Have intimate conversations with the locals. Go to as many cultural events as you can. Get vulnerable to the experience. Open yourself up and God will bless you with so much love and knowledge of what He has created and offers us. And what's better . . . He will work through you in moments when that you're not even aware.
So excited to hear the details of your journey and daily adventures. Soak it up . . . enjoy every moment. When fear invades your thoughts, say back: I am an anointed intellectual woman of God, delivered and performing His work.
Love you love you love you! :-)
I am so thankful for all of the wonderful people in my life. Your encouraging words mean more than you know! Thank you Jenna, Michelle, Misty, Katy, and Mindy for the amazing insights. I love you guys so much and everyone else that has been such a support in the preparation of this trip! It's a happening!
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